Hi everyone ! Before we get started let's just know each other first. So I'm gonna start writting about myself ! Hmmmm..... I have no idea how to get started.... Well, I think I'm gonna start with a Mockingjay introduction (an introduction in the style of Katniss Everdeen) !
"My name is Jessica Alicia. I am seventeen years old. I was raised by strict Asian parents. I had a bad pre-teenage memories which makes me sufferd social anxiety. I got traped in Panem at the age of 15. I escaped. Then I joint The Mockingjay. The Capitol hates me. But who cares, I've escaped anyway. Lucky I'm not dead. Most likely I could be dead. But thank God I'm not dead."
Anyway, I know you're probably confused and you woun't understand about what I wrote before if you haven't read Mockingjay yet. Or if you had read Mockinjay, you'll probably curious about what's gonna happen next. Don't worry, that's just an Introduction. Right now I'm gonna explain about what I wrote just now ! ;)
Before Anxiety
So, this is me when I was in grade 6 ! The happiest year I ever had.
This is me and my friends ! You can tell how happy I was before anxiety ruined my life.
We all know that grade 6 is the last year of elementery school. My life was perfect that time! I had nice teachers, nice friends, very supportive best friends, I spend most of my life at school (which I really love to be at school). Until, one day my parents decided to move me to a very strict middle school. I disagreed. But you know there is no such thing is 'democracy' in an Asian family! You might get killed for arguing with Asian parents! So I have no choice.
The Dungeon
As time past by, I was graduated from elementary and I attend that new school. Well, that school is more like a dungeon with a whole bunch of rules, most of the teachers are very strict, very obidience students (isn't it strange for a middle school ?) and many more. So let's just name this school "The Dungeon". One day when the teacher explains, I asked a question laudly like "sir!! I have a question ?" And all the class went silent and looked at me like as if I'm an alien. And after that I felt left out ! They talk shits behind my back, they ignored me, and they treat me like a disgusting person. They wipe everything that I've touched, they seems disgusted when I am near them, they are also disgusted with my stuff, they told the teachers everytime I made a mistake (even little ones), and many more. I don't know what to do so l just be quiet for the whole 3 years, I tried not to talk to anyone (exept my best friends who was treated the same), I never asked questions during class, I was so scared of teachers (I ran away everytime I saw them), and I did all that because I'm afraid. That makes me suffered Social Anxiety.
Lets just compare with the previous photo, you can see how gloomy I was. And that's totally a fake smile.
Panem
Many years later I turned 15. I finished middle school and finnaly moved from The Dungeon. I think I will name this school "Panem". For the first year at Panem (Grade 10) everything was fine. I had very nice friends and teachers. But the problem is, I still had that annoying anxiety ! It's like a phobia or something, that makes me afraid to talk to my friends, makes eye contact, talk to the teachers, and I'm still scared of teachers. But luckily I had a very nice home room teachers. Just name them Haymich and Effie. They tried to help me let go of my past and move on. And it 20% worked (but not much), at least I'm no longer THAT scared of teachers, and at least I can talk a little with my class mates (even just to say 'hello'). At least there was a little progress.
Now this is me as a 10th grader. I look better right ? I know I still had that shy little face, but at least I did't fake a smile!
One year later, it was my seccond year in Panem. Things change. Grade 11 is not as lucky as grade 10. I had a problem with my homeroom teacher (Romulus Thread). He seems nice in class but actually he's so cold-blodded. Everytime he has a problem with me he never talk about it in person. He always bring it up infront of the class and bring everything to my parents (which makes them hates me so much). So all he did was making bad raputation about me infront of the class and in front of my parents which makes my anxiety got worse (maybe worse than middle school). I just have to resist it, until one day my parents got a phone call from the school which says that I wount make it to grade 12. That makes them ashamed of me and they decided to moved me to another school (thank God)!!!
The Panem version of me! Look carefully. Yups, you can see how tense I was. I can't even relax and smile!
The Mockingjay (District 13)
This is the happy part (yayyy!!!! we're now close to the HAPPY ENDING!!!). I moved to a school that I call district 13! I can really feel the atmosphere of district 13. The classmates are Mockingjays (includes the teachers). There are no bunch of rules to deal with. So I dyed my hair and put some green highlights, do some piercings, and even got a tattoo on my wrist (just like the dauntless)! I finally can be myself after 4.5 years of resisting to be someone else. And I can get along with people. It's like I've lost 80% of my anxiety !
Me as a Mockingjay ! Can't you see how happy I was?
This is my tattoo. I would probably be dead if I'm still in Panem or The Dungeon #LOL.
Unwritten details
Well it's just a summary of my Anxiety story. It's a long story and I woun't be able write all of them in one post. So I'm going to write it in details on my next post! :)
Next post : details about The Dungeon #sneekpeak
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